m0ondust:

this fucking never fails to make me laugh

m0ondust:

this fucking never fails to make me laugh

dannnylawrence:

unlimitedgoats:

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.

Re: Your Anaconda,

Thank you for your consideration. Please keep my cover letter and resume in your files in case of any future openings. Good luck in all future endeavors.

Yours, etc.
A bunless hun

fappuclno:

when you and ya bestfriend say something at the exact same time
image

lubricates:

praise our lorde jesus christ 

lubricates:

praise our lorde jesus christ 

thegreenwolf:

ohcorny:

so this is what i ended up with for the “make your audience angry” assignment
i dont know about ya’ll but that phrase pisses me right the hell off

Side tip: if anyone ever grabs your hair like the above, clamp one hand HARD down on your scalp where the hair is coming out (think of how you try to immobilize your hair when brushing tangles out so it doesn’t hurt as bad, only do so at the scalp and not further down the hair). Then use your other hand to start hitting the other person (go for the face!) and blocking any blows they may try to make with their free hand. You can also step into them (which removes the tension on your hair) and start throwing your knees into their groin, stomach, kick the side of their knee, etc. 
The reason hair-pulling works is A) it HURTS and B) it’s an effective handle, especially because your instinct is going to be to pull away. But reduce the pain and the tension on the hair and you have more room to work with until the other person lets go, at which point you can run like hell or otherwise defend yourself as needed.

thegreenwolf:

ohcorny:

so this is what i ended up with for the “make your audience angry” assignment

i dont know about ya’ll but that phrase pisses me right the hell off

Side tip: if anyone ever grabs your hair like the above, clamp one hand HARD down on your scalp where the hair is coming out (think of how you try to immobilize your hair when brushing tangles out so it doesn’t hurt as bad, only do so at the scalp and not further down the hair). Then use your other hand to start hitting the other person (go for the face!) and blocking any blows they may try to make with their free hand. You can also step into them (which removes the tension on your hair) and start throwing your knees into their groin, stomach, kick the side of their knee, etc. 

The reason hair-pulling works is A) it HURTS and B) it’s an effective handle, especially because your instinct is going to be to pull away. But reduce the pain and the tension on the hair and you have more room to work with until the other person lets go, at which point you can run like hell or otherwise defend yourself as needed.

vulpesatomicus:

it feels like somebody….

vulpesatomicus:

it feels like somebody….

vulpesatomicus:

waNTS TO SELL ME SOMETHING

vulpesatomicus:

waNTS TO SELL ME SOMETHING

vulpesatomicus:

i told you he was onto us

assortedtrolls:

lohgan:

This sums up my life pretty well

assortedtrolls:

lohgan:

This sums up my life pretty well

Error

six favorite mortem3r outfits

(x) (x) (x)

(x) (x) (x)

canary-chan:

psa APH Zimbabwe is hot as a tator tot that is all

canary-chan:

psa APH Zimbabwe is hot as a tator tot that is all

kinjazama:

When someone is dating the guy you like

image 

comedycentral:

Click here to watch Stephen Colbert take a look at impossible beauty standards on The Colbert Report.

Meanwhile, full episodes of The Report are always available on the Comedy Central app.

larrystylinsons:

”omg this guy is so cute i wanna see him on his knees sucking a dick” a book written by me