this fucking never fails to make me laugh
My anaconda will consider it
My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.
Re: Your Anaconda,
Thank you for your consideration. Please keep my cover letter and resume in your files in case of any future openings. Good luck in all future endeavors.
A bunless hun
when you and ya bestfriend say something at the exact same time
praise our lorde jesus christ
so this is what i ended up with for the “make your audience angry” assignment
i dont know about ya’ll but that phrase pisses me right the hell off
Side tip: if anyone ever grabs your hair like the above, clamp one hand HARD down on your scalp where the hair is coming out (think of how you try to immobilize your hair when brushing tangles out so it doesn’t hurt as bad, only do so at the scalp and not further down the hair). Then use your other hand to start hitting the other person (go for the face!) and blocking any blows they may try to make with their free hand. You can also step into them (which removes the tension on your hair) and start throwing your knees into their groin, stomach, kick the side of their knee, etc.
The reason hair-pulling works is A) it HURTS and B) it’s an effective handle, especially because your instinct is going to be to pull away. But reduce the pain and the tension on the hair and you have more room to work with until the other person lets go, at which point you can run like hell or otherwise defend yourself as needed.
it feels like somebody….
waNTS TO SELL ME SOMETHING
i told you he was onto us
psa APH Zimbabwe is hot as a tator tot that is all
When someone is dating the guy you like
Click here to watch Stephen Colbert take a look at impossible beauty standards on The Colbert Report.
Meanwhile, full episodes of The Report are always available on the Comedy Central app.
”omg this guy is so cute i wanna see him on his knees sucking a dick” a book written by me